It was a beautiful letdown
When I crashed and burned.
When I found myself alone,
Unknown, and hurt.
It was a beautiful letdown,
The day I knew
That all the riches this world had to offer me
Would never do.

In a world full of bitter pain
And bitter doubts,
I was trying so hard to fit in,
Fit in, until I found out

I don't belong here (I don't belong).
I don't belong here (I don't belong).
I will carry a cross and a song
Where I don't belong.
I don't belong.

It was a beautiful letdown
When You found me here.
Yeah, for once in a rare blue moon,
I see everything clear.
I'll be a beautiful letdown,
That's what I'll forever be.
And though it may cost my soul,
I'll sing for free.

We're still chasing our tails
In the rising sun.
In our dark water planet still spinning
In a direction, no one wins,
No one's won.

See, I don't belong here (I don't belong).
Well, I don't belong here, I don't belong.
I will carry a cross
With a song where I don't belong.
I don't belong.
I don't belong here (I don't belong).

No, I don't belong here, I don't belong.
I'm gonna set sights
And set sail
For the kingdom come. Kingdom come,
Your kingdom come.
Won't you let me down, yeah.
Let my foolish pride forever let me down.

Ah, Easy Living, you're not much like the name.
Easy Dying, you look just about the same.
Would you please take me off your list,
Easy living? Please, c'mon and let me down.

We are a beautiful letdown,
Painfully uncool.
The church of the dropouts,
The losers, the sinners, the failures, and the fools.
What a beautiful letdown.
Are we salt in the wound?
Hey, let us sing one true tune.

I don't belong here (I don't belong).
It feels like I don't belong here, yeah.
Won't you let me down?

Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Peace - Eirēnē - security, safety, prosperity, felicity
Eirēnē also used for rest, quietness.

That is lovely.

And for those among you who find themselves interested...
COMM 208 = Public Speaking
COMM 240 = Mass Media & Society
COMM 242 = Message, Media & Meaning
MKT 301 = Introd. to Marketing
PSCI 208 = Introd. to Forensic Science

YES THAT'S RIGHT I'M TAKING INTRODUCTION TO FORENSIC SCIENCE.
Sounds fun, although it'll probably be horrifying.
I have a Science-Math requirement, and I'm NOT facing the battle that is Biology again. Gag me with a spoon.
And besides, Forensic Science fit into my schedule really well. I'll (probably) be able to go right to work at 11 on Fridays.
So, here I am; Communications major with a Marketing minor.
It doesn't sound so bad to me, to be completely honest.

Maybe this one will stick.

I've heard this song a hundred times, but I was blown away by it this morning.

♥

from the highest of heights
to the depths of the sea,
creation's revealing Your majesty.
from the colors of fall
to the fragrance of spring,
every creature unique
in the song that it sings.
all exclaiming;

indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky,
&& You know them by name.
You are amazing, God.
all powerful, untameable,
a w e s t r u c k , we fall to our knees
as we humbly proclaim;
You are amazing, God.

who has told every lightning bolt
where it should go,
or seen heavenly storehouses
laden with snow?
who imagined the sun,
&& gives source to its light,
yet conceals it to bring us
the coolness of night?
none can fathom.

indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky,
&& You know them by name.
You are amazing, God.
all powerful, untameable,
a w e s t r u c k , we fall to our knees
as we humbly proclaim;
You are amazing. God.

incomparable, unchangeable,
You see the depths of my heart,
&& You love me the same.
You are amazing, God.

sortofbeautiful is my new favourite community. Finally, people who understand me! (Also, a place to post fanfiction where it will be appreciated rather than gagged upon.)

*dances*

I want to go to bed. I'm so drained today it's not even funny. I want to go home and I want my hub to hug me until I fall asleep. That sounds like just about the nicest plan in the world.

Ah,at a luxury hotel, hands down. Camping was fun, I'll admit it, but there is just something so fabulous about staying at a hotel. It makes me feel like a princess to stay at the Holiday Inn. I can't even imagine how cool it would be to stay at a luxury hotel. *swoon*

When the KJV Bible (in Proverbs 31:10) speaks of a "virtuous woman," something is getting lost in the translation. The original word used for what we call "virtuous" is "chayil." The concordance defines this word as "strength, might, efficiency, wealth, army."

Well, gee whiz.
More on this soon, I think.

I'm not gonna write too much at the moment. But let me just say,

The eyes of all look to You,
and You give them their food at the proper time.
Psalm 145:15, NIV

I just typed this up for 2009_weddings, so I figured I'd copy and paste it here just in case anyone not on Facebook is interested in pictures. Enjoy!

As of the twentieth, I have been Mrs. Desjardin for TWO MONTHS! Time seriously does fly by. All of a sudden the summer is over, and I'm an old married lady. But anyway, here are some pictures I promised you! I don't know why the vertical ones are so little, but if you click on them they get bigger. (:

( June 20, 2009 <3 )

( And a few I played around with... )

Eh, I'm not so much about trying to figure that out. That's more hub's field of interest than it is mine. All I know is that if books are ever made obsolete by technology, I will cry. And then break the internet forever.

"These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on."
Matthew 7:26, MSG

I guess it really doesn't get much more straight forward than that. God's word isn't something we fit into our lives. It's something that we fit ourselves into. We're not supposed to be working things around, seeing where we can "make God work" in the life that we already have. Technically speaking, when we discover the love of Jesus (or, when He discovers us), we're supposed to drop everything from our old lives and follow Him. In today's world, that just doesn't seems logical. Since there's no physical Jesus to "follow," quitting our jobs and selling our possessions seems a little unreasonable. I certainly haven't done it.

However, I think that what God is looking for today is a willingness to do just that. Since there is no longer a man for us to literally follow from place to place, we need to have it set in our minds that we will follow the Holy Spirit anywhere it leads us. Whether it leads us to give a homeless man $100 when we feel like we don't have even have enough money for ourselves, or quit our jobs and become missionaries in Alaska, or just write "God bless you" on the check at a restaurant, we need to have a solid, unflappable willingness to do what the Holy Spirit moves us to do, when it moves us to do it. Anything, anywhere, and at any cost. Because only God knows the true cost, as well as the ripple effect caused by the largest or tiniest act of obedience.

I want to start living my life that way. For me, the first step is getting more attuned to the voice of God. The Bible says that His sheep will know His voice, and not confuse it with the voice of the enemy. I want to be a sure sheep. I need to spend more time listening for His will and His words, because that's the only way I'm ever going to truly learn His voice. I complained to Jim once that I can tell His voice so much better when He's shouting. That's not right. Jim told me that it's like that with lots of Christians. God's always easier to hear when He's shouting, because by that point you've probably already messed up. He told me to get past that, and to focus on what to do. What I need to do is hear God's voice, crystal clear, so that I can start following His every commandment. And I mean the commandments outside of the Bible, too. The commandments He has waiting specifically for me. The works He wants to do through me. I'm so excited to get to that point, but that means I have to get through the learning process first. I have to know His voice.

I just found a website that looks as if it might be helpful. I'll have to print it out and read through it. God is so cool.

"Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light."
Matthew 6:22, MSG

Monday
Engl 205 10:00a-11:50a
Engl 201 12:00p-1:50p

Tuesday
Comm 261 10:00a-11:50a
Engl 206 12:00p-1:50p
Work 2:00p-5:00p

Wednesday
Engl 205 10:00a-11:50a
Work 12:00p-4:00p

Thursday
Comm 261 10:00a-11:50a
Engl 201 12:00p-1:50p

Friday
Work 8:00a-12:00p
Engl 206 12:00p-1:50p

Saturday
Work 11:00a-2:00p

I wrote a blurb yesterday at work about the way God has completely (re)defined friendship for me. Tonight was wonderful conformation of that. He is so good, and so are my amazing friends. What a great night. I'm just overwhelmed by how blessed I am. My jokes about "having no friends" are completely unfounded. I do, and they're the best. Period.

PS, that blurb will most likely be on here within the next few days. :D

So Pastor brought up one of his (seemingly) favourite verses last night at discussion. We hear it a lot in church and Bible studies, but for some reason I've never looked it up for myself. The main verses that Pastor usually talks about are Matthew 24:4-11:

⁴Jesus answered: "Watch out that no one deceives you. ⁵For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ,' and will deceive many. ⁶You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. ⁷Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. ⁸All these are the beginning of birth pains.  ⁹"Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. ¹⁰At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, ¹¹and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. (NIV)

Pretty straight forward. These things are signs of the end times, and it seems as though the world we're living in now can't help but continue down the path that these verse lay out for it. Pastor usually goes on to make his point in verses twelve thirteen. The NIV reads this way; "Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved."

Last night I was reading these in the Message while Pastor read from the KJV, and I kept going when he stopped. Verse fourteen, the Message says, "All during this time, the good news--the Message of the kingdom--will be preached all over the world, a witness staked out in every country. And then the end will come." The NIV says just about the same thing. "And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come." That's it. That's how I'm seeing things lately, exactly there, written out in the Bible itself. I've been looking for a confirming verse like that. Nothing else I've found so far has been so straightforward, in that order, BAM. What it's saying, basically, is that when things in the world start to go bad, we need to make sure we're "standing firm to the end." Or, as the Message puts it, "Staying with it--that's what God requires." We, first and foremost, need to make sure that we're set in our faith. When these trials come, we need to be sure we're not going to get blown around. We don't have to be perfect, mind you. We just need to be steadfast.

But that's not it. When we're steadfast, when we're standing firm, we need to make sure that the Message of the kingdom is being preached all over the world. Witnesses need to be staked out in every country. And then, verse fourteen tells us, the end will come. God's giving us time to not only get ourselves straight with Him, but then to go on and save others. I love the way it sounds in the Message. "...a witness staked out in every country." Staked out, there on a mission, not leaving until we do our job. With the world not ending until we do our job. Isn't that fabulous?

Life is exciting.

Can I just tell you how truly and wonderfully and perfectly blessed I feel right now? It's just another one of those mornings. Nothing huge has happened, nothing to justify how light and fluffy I feel right now. But I am alive. I woke up from a horrible nightmare at 5:00 in the morning, and all I wanted was to know that, if I turned around, I'd see my husband next to me. But by the time I fell back to sleep at 5:30, I was comforted and calmed with knowing that he was at work, doing a job that he doesn't particularly love to support and care for himself and his family (aka me), and that he would be home in only three hours. So I fell asleep, and then he was. ( :

We had a lovely "date night" last night. Even though we didn't actually go "out" anywhere, it was nice to just hang out with him. We made (DELICIOUSYUMMYOMGOSH) chicken, cleaned up the apartment, played pool and shuffleboard in the lounge, strolled around outside for a little bit, and ended the night with Scrabble. We're an old married couple if there's ever been one, and I'm loving every single cottonpickin' second of it. When I began to fall asleep in the middle of the game, however, I went to bed and he read Habakkuk to me. I've got to say, I'm really a fan of the minor prophets. The KLove Encouraging Word of the Day yesterday was Habakkuk 1:5. The NLT says "…For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn't believe even if someone told you about it. " The verse is talking about God sending a whole pile of ruthless barbarians to exact justice on the people, but it's like...think about it. It says many other times in the Bible that God has plans for us that we can't even comprehend. Even f someone told us about them, we just wouldn't believe it, that's how huge and grand and wonderful the plans God has for us are.

So I was pondering that verse all day yesterday, and so was Mama. She ended up reading the entire book yesterday, too. I called her to talk on my way to work today. Turns out she and Jojo went to Beth and Jim's after all, and they ended up talking about church a little. Jim, out of nowhere, tells Mama that he has a verse for her. He's flipping through the Bible all willy-nilly, and he's all, "Man, these minor prophets..." and Mama asks him, "You're not looking for Habakkuk, are you?"

He was. The verse we had had our minds on all day yesterday was the exact verse he felt like God wanted him to share with her at that moment. Hearing that, starting my day by getting just a little glimpse of the awesome and mighty ways God works, was enough to make my morning. So I hung up with mom, deposited my check from EP, and went to school to pay my Fall 2009 bill.

Ever since I saw online that I was getting so much money per semester (!!), I've been thankful, but super skeptical that it was a mistake, or that it was just going to magically disappear and leave me unable to go to school this semester. I've been worried about that for some reason. So I took the checkbook to school before work, and as I gave my name to the woman in the Bursar's Office, she punched some things into her computer and said..."That'll be $59."

HALLELUJAH, PRAISE JESUS. I was such a slacker, and I just got all my financial aid stuff finished up last week. This is just super proof that God is faithful to His people even when they don't deserve it. I'm so glad, and I plan to try much harder to deserve it in the future. I want to be a daughter God is proud of.

That's all for now. I just got an email saying that one of the books I ordered is in, and I think I'm gonna wander out front to find it. Bye!

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4 says that. We are to look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others. Do Christians take that seriously? I mean, I know that we are often kind and generous and we help people, but do we really go around looking after the interests of others?
What would happen if we did that?
What would happen if when we went to church, we didn't think about ourselves, but instead, we thought about how we could look after the interests of others?
What if we saw our neighborhoods and cities that way?
What if we saw those different from us that way? How can we look after the interests of those who are not just like us and don't make us feel comfortable?

Wow. That's really something else. I follow this Pastor, Alan Cross, both on twitter and on his blog. He has some pretty great insight, and I think this qualifies as pretty great. It's such a simple concept. So simple, in fact, that I think most of us just disregard it in terms of our daily living.

I am just coming to the point where I am amazed at how much of the Bible's teaching I just never thought much about or took that seriously. I mean, I see words on a page and I believe them, but I often fail to think about their implications for all of life. These words in Phil. 2:4 have massive implications for ALL of life if we will believe them and obey them.

And isn't that true? We see words on a page and believe them, but we leave it at that. We believe that Jesus wants us to live and love as unconditionally as He did, even when that other person just does not deserve it, but we leave it there. We're just people. Putting something so simple yet so seemingly extreme into play takes a lot of thought, and sometimes we just forget. I forget all the time. Philippians goes on to say (in the Message) that we need to remember to "live in such a way that you are a credit to the Message of Christ," and "go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society."

The latter verse excites me so much! "Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God." That's our job, in this world. Love others. Put them first. Show them what Jesus looks like. That is to be our job on this earth. That's supposed to be our focus. That, above and before all else, is what the church is here for. That's why we exist. First to take care of others, then to encourage each other, and, in turn, be encouraged. That's what I want out of my Christianity.

Finding out what KLove's Encouraging Word of the Day is, is becoming one of my favourite things to do in the morning. I find out what the chapter and verse are, and then go on to read the entire chapter and see how it speaks to my life. The amazing thing is, it always does! Even if no written-out "study" comes out of it, I'm always encouraged. It also gives me the stability to make sure I'm reading and trying to understand and apply at least one chapter of the Bible every day. Works out nicely, I think. (:

Anyway, I absolutely love today's chapter. The Message, I believe, reads best (see above). It goes beyond the simple "Ask anything in my name and I will do it" verse. The Message uses this opportunity to delve deeper into what Jesus was really saying. it gets to the point, to the meaning, of His words, and disqualifies the silly questions we like to trip ourselves (and others) up with. What Jesus means by saying that we should ask in His name isnt simply that we should end our prayers with "...in Jesus' name" and think that puts his seal of approval on it. The Message's translation puts silly claims like "But I prayed for a Lamborghini in Jesus' name!" out of commission. What Jesus meant, as we can see so much more clearly in this translation, is that when we pray prayers that directly deal with His (and now, our) line of work, He is always going to answer them. He hears all our prayers, true, but He says here that when we make a request pertaining to His/our work on earth, He'll do it. When we call out to Him in a pure way about something that is "along the lines of who He is and what He is doing," He's got our backs. No questions asked. We have an automatic in in Heaven, as long as we are about our Father's business. Because when we are, then all our prayers will be pertaining to the will and work of God.

I think what I love most about this (and other various components of the Message) is the ability I now have to understand such a verse as the one above without having someone explain it to me. I've heard good sermons before that taught me about this same subject, and so I've learned this lesson before. But I think that it's amazing that finally, someone has put the Bible into a translation where I can look at it and say for myself, "Wow, look, that's exactly what my Pastor said. That really is what it means." We're always going to need people to teach, but I think it's wonderful that I can open up my Bible and see the same words in there that are being preached to me. The "between the lines," "behind the meaning" meanings. It's pretty great. (:

On a completely unrelated note, Andrew and I have our first Saturday Night Off From Life in forever tonight. I get to be home with him, planless, and he's already promised me there will be cuddling. I can't wait. (:

And also, I'd like you to meet our new pet! This is Snorkle. He's an adorable Beta fish that I found at a sketchy pet shop yesterday morning while Andrew was asleep. I  brought him home, got him set up on the counter, and left Andrew a trail of notes taped first to the toilet,  bathroom door  frame,  hallway  walls, couch, and finally on the counter where Snorkle was. He's super pretty and I'm very proud of my selection.