I'M SOMEWHERE BETWEEN MY HEART AND MY HANDS,

I'm so nervous to preach tonight : x

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 19:52:13 GMT

It was a beautiful letdown
When I crashed and burned.
When I found myself alone,
Unknown, and hurt.
It was a beautiful letdown,
The day I knew
That all the riches this world had to offer me
Would never do.

In a world full of bitter pain
And bitter doubts,
I was trying so hard to fit in,
Fit in, until I found out

I don't belong here (I don't belong).
I don't belong here (I don't belong).
I will carry a cross and a song
Where I don't belong.
I don't belong.

It was a beautiful letdown
When You found me here.
Yeah, for once in a rare blue moon,
I see everything clear.
I'll be a beautiful letdown,
That's what I'll forever be.
And though it may cost my soul,
I'll sing for free.

We're still chasing our tails
In the rising sun.
In our dark water planet still spinning
In a direction, no one wins,
No one's won.

See, I don't belong here (I don't belong).
Well, I don't belong here, I don't belong.
I will carry a cross
With a song where I don't belong.
I don't belong.
I don't belong here (I don't belong).

No, I don't belong here, I don't belong.
I'm gonna set sights
And set sail
For the kingdom come. Kingdom come,
Your kingdom come.
Won't you let me down, yeah.
Let my foolish pride forever let me down.

Ah, Easy Living, you're not much like the name.
Easy Dying, you look just about the same.
Would you please take me off your list,
Easy living? Please, c'mon and let me down.

We are a beautiful letdown,
Painfully uncool.
The church of the dropouts,
The losers, the sinners, the failures, and the fools.
What a beautiful letdown.
Are we salt in the wound?
Hey, let us sing one true tune.

I don't belong here (I don't belong).
It feels like I don't belong here, yeah.
Won't you let me down?

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 20:50:57 GMT

Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Peace - Eirēnē - security, safety, prosperity, felicity
Eirēnē also used for rest, quietness.

That is lovely.

Next Semester's Schedule. BAM!

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 19:01:01 GMT

Monday
10a-1050a -- PSCI 208
11a-1220a -- MKT 301

Tuesday
930a-1050a -- COMM 240
11a-1220p -- COMM 208
2p-320p -- COMM 242

Wednesday
10a-1050a -- PSCI 208
11a-1220a -- MKT 301

Thursday
930a-1050a -- COMM 240
11a-1220p -- COMM 208
2p-320p -- COMM 242

Friday
10a-1050a -- PSCI 208

And for those among you who find themselves interested...
COMM 208 = Public Speaking
COMM 240 = Mass Media & Society
COMM 242 = Message, Media & Meaning
MKT 301 = Introd. to Marketing
PSCI 208 = Introd. to Forensic Science

YES THAT'S RIGHT I'M TAKING INTRODUCTION TO FORENSIC SCIENCE.
Sounds fun, although it'll probably be horrifying.
I have a Science-Math requirement, and I'm NOT facing the battle that is Biology again. Gag me with a spoon.
And besides, Forensic Science fit into my schedule really well. I'll (probably) be able to go right to work at 11 on Fridays.
So, here I am; Communications major with a Marketing minor.
It doesn't sound so bad to me, to be completely honest.

Maybe this one will stick.

None can fathom.

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 15:44:43 GMT

I've heard this song a hundred times, but I was blown away by it this morning.

♥

from the highest of heights
to the depths of the sea,
creation's revealing Your majesty.
from the colors of fall
to the fragrance of spring,
every creature unique
in the song that it sings.
all exclaiming;

indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky,
&& You know them by name.
You are amazing, God.
all powerful, untameable,
a w e s t r u c k , we fall to our knees
as we humbly proclaim;
You are amazing, God.

who has told every lightning bolt
where it should go,
or seen heavenly storehouses
laden with snow?
who imagined the sun,
&& gives source to its light,
yet conceals it to bring us
the coolness of night?
none can fathom.

indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky,
&& You know them by name.
You are amazing, God.
all powerful, untameable,
a w e s t r u c k , we fall to our knees
as we humbly proclaim;
You are amazing. God.

incomparable, unchangeable,
You see the depths of my heart,
&& You love me the same.
You are amazing, God.

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 14:37:07 GMT

sortofbeautiful is my new favourite community. Finally, people who understand me! (Also, a place to post fanfiction where it will be appreciated rather than gagged upon.)

*dances*

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:21:32 GMT

I want to go to bed. I'm so drained today it's not even funny. I want to go home and I want my hub to hug me until I fall asleep. That sounds like just about the nicest plan in the world.

Writer's Block: Camping or Hotel?

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 19:02:44 GMT

Would you rather spend the weekend camping in the woods or at a luxury hotel? Why?

View 927 Answers

Ah,at a luxury hotel, hands down. Camping was fun, I'll admit it, but there is just something so fabulous about staying at a hotel. It makes me feel like a princess to stay at the Holiday Inn. I can't even imagine how cool it would be to stay at a luxury hotel. *swoon*

Well, that's cool.

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 13:13:17 GMT

When the KJV Bible (in Proverbs 31:10) speaks of a "virtuous woman," something is getting lost in the translation. The original word used for what we call "virtuous" is "chayil." The concordance defines this word as "strength, might, efficiency, wealth, army."

Well, gee whiz.
More on this soon, I think.

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 18:16:56 GMT

I'm not gonna write too much at the moment. But let me just say,

The eyes of all look to You,
and You give them their food at the proper time.
Psalm 145:15, NIV

Okay, wedding pictures!

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 15:21:02 GMT

I just typed this up for 2009_weddings, so I figured I'd copy and paste it here just in case anyone not on Facebook is interested in pictures. Enjoy!

As of the twentieth, I have been Mrs. Desjardin for TWO MONTHS! Time seriously does fly by. All of a sudden the summer is over, and I'm an old married lady. But anyway, here are some pictures I promised you! I don't know why the vertical ones are so little, but if you click on them they get bigger. (:

My hub during the ceremony. He's such a doll. (:

Flower girl and ring bearer. She basically fell in love with him over the process of the rehearsal and wedding, and wouldn't let him alone! Haha.

Awh, smooch.

This is the picture we sent out in our thank yous. I love that we're both starting to laugh.

Probably during the ceremony.

My mom walked me partway, then my dad took it from there. This picture came out fabulously.

The photographer told Emily (my flower girl) to pretend she was telling me a secret. This was the adorable result!

And, the whole wedding party. We're a lovely bunch.
.

My best friend Kirby was one of my bridesmen. He's a master of awkward faces.

I super love this.

Jim, my youth pastor. He's been such an inspiration in my life and I was completely blessed to have him there.

.

Writer's Block

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 15:22:40 GMT

How do you think technology will impact your future?

Presented by Intel, Sponsors of Tomorrow.

View 246 Answers

Eh, I'm not so much about trying to figure that out. That's more hub's field of interest than it is mine. All I know is that if books are ever made obsolete by technology, I will cry. And then break the internet forever.

Matthew is so cool.

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 14:42:06 GMT

"These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on."
Matthew 7:26, MSG

I guess it really doesn't get much more straight forward than that. God's word isn't something we fit into our lives. It's something that we fit ourselves into. We're not supposed to be working things around, seeing where we can "make God work" in the life that we already have. Technically speaking, when we discover the love of Jesus (or, when He discovers us), we're supposed to drop everything from our old lives and follow Him. In today's world, that just doesn't seems logical. Since there's no physical Jesus to "follow," quitting our jobs and selling our possessions seems a little unreasonable. I certainly haven't done it.

However, I think that what God is looking for today is a willingness to do just that. Since there is no longer a man for us to literally follow from place to place, we need to have it set in our minds that we will follow the Holy Spirit anywhere it leads us. Whether it leads us to give a homeless man $100 when we feel like we don't have even have enough money for ourselves, or quit our jobs and become missionaries in Alaska, or just write "God bless you" on the check at a restaurant, we need to have a solid, unflappable willingness to do what the Holy Spirit moves us to do, when it moves us to do it. Anything, anywhere, and at any cost. Because only God knows the true cost, as well as the ripple effect caused by the largest or tiniest act of obedience.

I want to start living my life that way. For me, the first step is getting more attuned to the voice of God. The Bible says that His sheep will know His voice, and not confuse it with the voice of the enemy. I want to be a sure sheep. I need to spend more time listening for His will and His words, because that's the only way I'm ever going to truly learn His voice. I complained to Jim once that I can tell His voice so much better when He's shouting. That's not right. Jim told me that it's like that with lots of Christians. God's always easier to hear when He's shouting, because by that point you've probably already messed up. He told me to get past that, and to focus on what to do. What I need to do is hear God's voice, crystal clear, so that I can start following His every commandment. And I mean the commandments outside of the Bible, too. The commandments He has waiting specifically for me. The works He wants to do through me. I'm so excited to get to that point, but that means I have to get through the learning process first. I have to know His voice.

I just found a website that looks as if it might be helpful. I'll have to print it out and read through it. God is so cool.

"Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light."
Matthew 6:22, MSG

My life until 12/19/09.

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 20:18:02 GMT

Monday
Engl 205 10:00a-11:50a
Engl 201 12:00p-1:50p

Tuesday
Comm 261 10:00a-11:50a
Engl 206 12:00p-1:50p
Work 2:00p-5:00p

Wednesday
Engl 205 10:00a-11:50a
Work 12:00p-4:00p

Thursday
Comm 261 10:00a-11:50a
Engl 201 12:00p-1:50p

Friday
Work 8:00a-12:00p
Engl 206 12:00p-1:50p

Saturday
Work 11:00a-2:00p

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 04:45:41 GMT

I wrote a blurb yesterday at work about the way God has completely (re)defined friendship for me. Tonight was wonderful conformation of that. He is so good, and so are my amazing friends. What a great night. I'm just overwhelmed by how blessed I am. My jokes about "having no friends" are completely unfounded. I do, and they're the best. Period.

PS, that blurb will most likely be on here within the next few days. :D

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 14:39:21 GMT

So Pastor brought up one of his (seemingly) favourite verses last night at discussion. We hear it a lot in church and Bible studies, but for some reason I've never looked it up for myself. The main verses that Pastor usually talks about are Matthew 24:4-11:

⁴Jesus answered: "Watch out that no one deceives you. ⁵For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ,' and will deceive many. ⁶You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. ⁷Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. ⁸All these are the beginning of birth pains. ⁹"Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. ¹⁰At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, ¹¹and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. (NIV)

Pretty straight forward. These things are signs of the end times, and it seems as though the world we're living in now can't help but continue down the path that these verse lay out for it. Pastor usually goes on to make his point in verses twelve thirteen. The NIV reads this way; "Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved."

Last night I was reading these in the Message while Pastor read from the KJV, and I kept going when he stopped. Verse fourteen, the Message says, "All during this time, the good news--the Message of the kingdom--will be preached all over the world, a witness staked out in every country. And then the end will come." The NIV says just about the same thing. "And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come." That's it. That's how I'm seeing things lately, exactly there, written out in the Bible itself. I've been looking for a confirming verse like that. Nothing else I've found so far has been so straightforward, in that order, BAM. What it's saying, basically, is that when things in the world start to go bad, we need to make sure we're "standing firm to the end." Or, as the Message puts it, "Staying with it--that's what God requires." We, first and foremost, need to make sure that we're set in our faith. When these trials come, we need to be sure we're not going to get blown around. We don't have to be perfect, mind you. We just need to be steadfast.

But that's not it. When we're steadfast, when we're standing firm, we need to make sure that the Message of the kingdom is being preached all over the world. Witnesses need to be staked out in every country. And then, verse fourteen tells us, the end will come. God's giving us time to not only get ourselves straight with Him, but then to go on and save others. I love the way it sounds in the Message. "...a witness staked out in every country." Staked out, there on a mission, not leaving until we do our job. With the world not ending until we do our job. Isn't that fabulous?

Life is exciting.

( :

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 16:34:01 GMT

Can I just tell you how truly and wonderfully and perfectly blessed I feel right now? It's just another one of those mornings. Nothing huge has happened, nothing to justify how light and fluffy I feel right now. But I am alive. I woke up from a horrible nightmare at 5:00 in the morning, and all I wanted was to know that, if I turned around, I'd see my husband next to me. But by the time I fell back to sleep at 5:30, I was comforted and calmed with knowing that he was at work, doing a job that he doesn't particularly love to support and care for himself and his family (aka me), and that he would be home in only three hours. So I fell asleep, and then he was. ( :

We had a lovely "date night" last night. Even though we didn't actually go "out" anywhere, it was nice to just hang out with him. We made (DELICIOUSYUMMYOMGOSH) chicken, cleaned up the apartment, played pool and shuffleboard in the lounge, strolled around outside for a little bit, and ended the night with Scrabble. We're an old married couple if there's ever been one, and I'm loving every single cottonpickin' second of it. When I began to fall asleep in the middle of the game, however, I went to bed and he read Habakkuk to me. I've got to say, I'm really a fan of the minor prophets. The KLove Encouraging Word of the Day yesterday was Habakkuk 1:5. The NLT says "…For I am doing something in your own day, something you wouldn't believe even if someone told you about it. " The verse is talking about God sending a whole pile of ruthless barbarians to exact justice on the people, but it's like...think about it. It says many other times in the Bible that God has plans for us that we can't even comprehend. Even f someone told us about them, we just wouldn't believe it, that's how huge and grand and wonderful the plans God has for us are.

So I was pondering that verse all day yesterday, and so was Mama. She ended up reading the entire book yesterday, too. I called her to talk on my way to work today. Turns out she and Jojo went to Beth and Jim's after all, and they ended up talking about church a little. Jim, out of nowhere, tells Mama that he has a verse for her. He's flipping through the Bible all willy-nilly, and he's all, "Man, these minor prophets..." and Mama asks him, "You're not looking for Habakkuk, are you?"

He was. The verse we had had our minds on all day yesterday was the exact verse he felt like God wanted him to share with her at that moment. Hearing that, starting my day by getting just a little glimpse of the awesome and mighty ways God works, was enough to make my morning. So I hung up with mom, deposited my check from EP, and went to school to pay my Fall 2009 bill.

Ever since I saw online that I was getting so much money per semester (!!), I've been thankful, but super skeptical that it was a mistake, or that it was just going to magically disappear and leave me unable to go to school this semester. I've been worried about that for some reason. So I took the checkbook to school before work, and as I gave my name to the woman in the Bursar's Office, she punched some things into her computer and said..."That'll be $59."

HALLELUJAH, PRAISE JESUS. I was such a slacker, and I just got all my financial aid stuff finished up last week. This is just super proof that God is faithful to His people even when they don't deserve it. I'm so glad, and I plan to try much harder to deserve it in the future. I want to be a daughter God is proud of.

That's all for now. I just got an email saying that one of the books I ordered is in, and I think I'm gonna wander out front to find it. Bye!

KLove's Encouraging Word, 8/5/09.

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 12:10:17 GMT

For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun!
Do you not see it?...
Isaiah 43:19, NLT

Well, good morning God.
Yes, I do.
Thank You.

Radical(?) Change Of Mind.

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 13:54:02 GMT

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4 says that. We are to look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others. Do Christians take that seriously? I mean, I know that we are often kind and generous and we help people, but do we really go around looking after the interests of others?
What would happen if we did that?
What would happen if when we went to church, we didn't think about ourselves, but instead, we thought about how we could look after the interests of others?
What if we saw our neighborhoods and cities that way?
What if we saw those different from us that way? How can we look after the interests of those who are not just like us and don't make us feel comfortable?

Wow. That's really something else. I follow this Pastor, Alan Cross, both on twitter and on his blog. He has some pretty great insight, and I think this qualifies as pretty great. It's such a simple concept. So simple, in fact, that I think most of us just disregard it in terms of our daily living.

I am just coming to the point where I am amazed at how much of the Bible's teaching I just never thought much about or took that seriously. I mean, I see words on a page and I believe them, but I often fail to think about their implications for all of life. These words in Phil. 2:4 have massive implications for ALL of life if we will believe them and obey them.

And isn't that true? We see words on a page and believe them, but we leave it at that. We believe that Jesus wants us to live and love as unconditionally as He did, even when that other person just does not deserve it, but we leave it there. We're just people. Putting something so simple yet so seemingly extreme into play takes a lot of thought, and sometimes we just forget. I forget all the time. Philippians goes on to say (in the Message) that we need to remember to "live in such a way that you are a credit to the Message of Christ," and "go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society."

The latter verse excites me so much! "Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God." That's our job, in this world. Love others. Put them first. Show them what Jesus looks like. That is to be our job on this earth. That's supposed to be our focus. That, above and before all else, is what the church is here for. That's why we exist. First to take care of others, then to encourage each other, and, in turn, be encouraged. That's what I want out of my Christianity.

Peace.

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 12:28:15 GMT

"And the peace of God,
which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds
in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:7 (NIV)

peace = eirēnē
"of Christianity, the tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ,
and so fearing nothing from God and content with its earthly lot,
of whatsoever sort that is."

Once again, the Message wins in my book.

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 19:57:05 GMT

John 14:11-14

"Believe me: I am in my Father and my Father is in me. If you can't believe that, believe what you see--these works. The person who trusts in me will not only do what I'm doing but even greater things, because I, on my way to the Father, am giving you the same work to do that I've been doing. You can count on it. From now on, whatever you request along the lines of who I am and what I am doing, I'll do it."

Finding out what KLove's Encouraging Word of the Day is, is becoming one of my favourite things to do in the morning. I find out what the chapter and verse are, and then go on to read the entire chapter and see how it speaks to my life. The amazing thing is, it always does! Even if no written-out "study" comes out of it, I'm always encouraged. It also gives me the stability to make sure I'm reading and trying to understand and apply at least one chapter of the Bible every day. Works out nicely, I think. (:

Anyway, I absolutely love today's chapter. The Message, I believe, reads best (see above). It goes beyond the simple "Ask anything in my name and I will do it" verse. The Message uses this opportunity to delve deeper into what Jesus was really saying. it gets to the point, to the meaning, of His words, and disqualifies the silly questions we like to trip ourselves (and others) up with. What Jesus means by saying that we should ask in His name isnt simply that we should end our prayers with "...in Jesus' name" and think that puts his seal of approval on it. The Message's translation puts silly claims like "But I prayed for a Lamborghini in Jesus' name!" out of commission. What Jesus meant, as we can see so much more clearly in this translation, is that when we pray prayers that directly deal with His (and now, our) line of work, He is always going to answer them. He hears all our prayers, true, but He says here that when we make a request pertaining to His/our work on earth, He'll do it. When we call out to Him in a pure way about something that is "along the lines of who He is and what He is doing," He's got our backs. No questions asked. We have an automatic in in Heaven, as long as we are about our Father's business. Because when we are, then all our prayers will be pertaining to the will and work of God.

I think what I love most about this (and other various components of the Message) is the ability I now have to understand such a verse as the one above without having someone explain it to me. I've heard good sermons before that taught me about this same subject, and so I've learned this lesson before. But I think that it's amazing that finally, someone has put the Bible into a translation where I can look at it and say for myself, "Wow, look, that's exactly what my Pastor said. That really is what it means." We're always going to need people to teach, but I think it's wonderful that I can open up my Bible and see the same words in there that are being preached to me. The "between the lines," "behind the meaning" meanings. It's pretty great. (:

On a completely unrelated note, Andrew and I have our first Saturday Night Off From Life in forever tonight. I get to be home with him, planless, and he's already promised me there will be cuddling. I can't wait. (:

And also, I'd like you to meet our new pet! This is Snorkle. He's an adorable Beta fish that I found at a sketchy pet shop yesterday morning while Andrew was asleep. I brought him home, got him set up on the counter, and left Andrew a trail of notes taped first to the toilet, bathroom door frame, hallway walls, couch, and finally on the counter where Snorkle was. He's super pretty and I'm very proud of my selection.

Oh, by the way.

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 18:18:09 GMT

Last night was rocky, for me. After Andrew left for work, I had kind of a time of crying (literally) out to God. On Wednesday night, I felt as though God told me to take the Slatersville exit rather than the Pound Hill exit, and it was there that I hit the sidewalk and popped my tires. I was a little (more than a little) upset and confused as to why God would have me take a (literal) route that would lead to such frustration for me. Turns out, it was just another step on the route (metaphorical) that God had me on to bring me back to Him. Not that I really left Him, but I've had that "I'll do God stuff on my own time" attitude lately. I know better, God has taught me that lesson more than a few times now, and I should have learned it well enough by now (I was born with a wayward heart/Still, I live with a restless spirit/My soul is so well-worn/You'd think I'd have arrived by now). So the lesson was a little more drastic this time.

First, my car went. Then I popped not one, but two tires on Andrew's car. Of course, I copped a "way to go, me" attitude and, of course, I took it out on him. Makes perfect sense, right? Two hundred dollars for the tires. Ouch. Got my new debit card in the mail on Wednesday, and last night/this morning I was wracked with worry, thinking I'd misplaced it already. It wasn't in my bag, nor was it in the pocket of the skirt I was wearing Friday. The last place I remember seeing it (before putting it in the aforementioned pocket) was on the passenger's seat of Andrew's car. So we go to get the car this morning, and it's not there. Awesome. Later, as I'm about to grab my keys and run out to the car to search again for that pesky card, I go upstairs to the bedroom first. Stand in front of dresser. Stare into mirror. Tell God that He is my strength, that I believe He can handle any situation. Lift tshirt off dresser.

There's my card.

I did a little dance around the house, praising God before sitting on the couch to pray (actually pray, without doing other things at the same time) a little before I leave the house. My attention span wasn't as long as I would have liked, but I'm working on it. Really, this time. The fact that I was searching God rather than searching the house for my card this morning was a direct result of last night, realizing that God brought me to the end of my rope because that was where He was. I was out in left field doing my own thing, and He was in the dugout saying, "Hey, I'm over here. Just come and sit with me a while and we can sort all this out." That, because I am me, didn't work. So instead He allowed a couple of broken cars and a misplaced bank card and something just shy of a nervous breakdown to be tossed at me. And I am so thankful.

But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline; don't sulk under his loving correction. It's the child he loves that God corrects; a father's delight is behind all this (Proverbs 3:12).

Last night, in the midst of my cying out, what I felt I needed most was strength. Luckily, my Message Bible has a "topical guide" in the back, and I looked up the word "strength." Rather than picking a verse at random, I chose to look at the very first one, and I didn't need to go any further. What I found was like a salve for my soul.

Psalm 31:24 -
"Be brave. Be strong. Don't give up.
Expect God to get here soon."

That first line is the essence of where I am. The second is the essence of where I'm headed, where I was. Right now I'm trying to be brave, trying to be strong. I'm not giving up. But I'm going to go back to living with the expectation of His arrival, and with the expectation that His promises for me are more than just words in a book. I'm going to go back to living with the daily knowledge that His word is living, and it's active, and it's sharper than any two-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12). This has been a dry period for me, but God brings the rain when He knows that we need it. I really believe that.

I've had my share of heartache
I've felt the sting of pain
From standing out in the desert
Praying for rain
I've seen my lonely teardrops
Fall down my lonely face
Oh how I long to hear the
Thunder roll again
And I want to be
Swept away in Thee
Only You know what I need
So open up the sky
Rain down Your love
I don't care if I
Never get enough
I just want to be
Caught in that flood
So open up the sky
I've had my disappointments
I've cried a time or two
These showers of love I long for
They only come from You
Now I want to go deeper
And fall in over my head
So send Your Holy downpour
And let the healing begin
And I can't wait
To be swept away
Only You can stop pain
So open up the sky
Rain down Your love
I don't care if I
Never get enough
I just want to be
Caught in that flood
So open up the sky

My life, in the words of another.

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 17:59:46 GMT

I realized today that the Bible app on my phone links to other people's bloggings about any verse. I was reading 2 Cor. 5:5, and I found a really amazing thought on it, one that I agree with so wholeheartedly it's as though I wrote it myself. Here it is...

--The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less." (2 Corinthians 5:5, MSG)

How great is this verse?! "He puts a little of heaven in our hearts.." As I read that, this was my thought:

No matter how great a moment I have here, like my wedding, the birth of my children, cuddling with my daughter on the couch this morning before work, or just playing video games with my son, will not compare AT ALL with how great heaven is going to be. Now, really, imagine that! The absolute best memories of your life will pale in comparison to what's in store for us up there. I also love the second half of that verse: "so that we'll never settle for less". If that thought doesn't motivate you to live a Christ-like life and to reach others with this great news, I don't know what will. I love my family and my life here on earth, but I can't wait to be home with Him. Let me close with the words of the late, great Rich Mullins from his song, "Elijah":

"When I leave, I wanna go out like Elijah,
With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire...
And when I look back on the stars,
It'll be like a candlelight in Central Park...
And it won't break my heart to say goodbye!"

No, it won't break my heart to say goodbye....--

That phrase I bolded is, I feel, where I am right now. I have to realize that this life I'm living, in all its glory, is just a taste of Heaven. Taking time out of the amazing life God has allowed to mirror heaven to spend some time getting closer to Him and preparing myself for The Real Thing should be a blessing, not a burden. "If that doesn't motivate you to live a Christ-like life...I don't know what will." I want this to be my motivator today, tomorrow, right now. God gave me this life, and so I need to be giving it back to Him.

My Redeemer lives. ( :

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 17:31:12 GMT

Psalm 32, NIV & Message
He has already set me free from the guilt I was feeling in that last post.
Praise God. ( :

1. Blessed is He whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
(Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be--you get a fresh start, your slate's wiped clean.)

2. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.
(Count yourself lucky--God holds nothing against you, and you're holding nothing back from Him.)

3. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
(When I kept it all inside, my bones turned to powder, my words became daylong groans.)

4. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Selah.
(The pressure never let up; all the juices of my life dried up.)

5. Then I acknowledged my sin to You and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord"--and You forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah.
(Then I let it all out; I said, "I'll make a clean breast of my failures to God." Suddenly the pressure was gone--my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared.)

6. Therefore let everyone who is goly pray to You while You may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.
(These things add up. Every one of us needs to pray; when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts we'll be on high ground, untouched.)

7. You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah.
(God's my island hideaway, keepds danger far from the shore, throws garlands of hosannas around my neck.)

8. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.
(Let me give you some good advice; I'm looking you in the eye and giving it to you straight.)

9. Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.
(Don't be ornery like a horse or mule that needs bit and bridle to stay on track.)

10. Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in Him.
(God-defiers are always in trouble; God-affirmers find themselves loved every time they turn around.)

11. Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!
(Celebrate God. Sing together--everyone! All you honest hearts, raise the roof!)

Writer's Block: Investigations of a Female Nature

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:47:21 GMT

Who is your favorite lady detective from movies, books, or TV?

View 506 Answers

NANCY DREW.
Duh.

Psalm 3:5(-6), in a different light.

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 12:50:34 GMT

"I stretch myself out. I sleep.
Then I'm up again--rested, tall and steady,
Fearless before the enemy mobs
Coming at me from all sides."

Yeah, this is a little preachy. But, as it is, I'm preaching completely at myself. As I started writing this entry, I was using only the message Bible. But when I looked verse five up in the NIV, I realized I'd used it in a livejournal entry before. I love the way that reads to no end. But this time, I think where I'm at is more accurately described by the message. I sleep. Then I'm up again--rested, tall and steady. The past week has been so dry for me, spiritually. I've felt far, in a place where I know I should be reading and praying, but I just haven't wanted to. So I've given in to my flesh and just not. It's a sad place to be, especially when it comes right on the tail of a bout of such spiritual excitement. I was so enthused to be in God's word every day, searching it out and letting God reveal such amazing things to me. But when that started to taper out, when sometimes it was just reading instead of unlocking buried treasure, it was like I just wanted to pull back and wait until God gave me the *boom* back. Dumbest thing. I know that's not how it works.

The evangelist that came to speak at youth group last night touched on that really well. He said that he originally had something else he planned to talk about, but yesterday morning his wife informed him that she'd had a dream, and that he had to preach about it (coolest ever). So he did (equally as cool). Her dream pertained to 2 Kings 9, more specifically, the anointing of Jehu. He spoke about how the nameless, faceless young prophet was given this HUGE job to do, in which he had to take Jehu to the back, hidden room, annoint his head with oil, and prophecy that he would be king over Israel. His focus point was the back room, and our need to spend time with God there.

One specific thing he said a few times that really hit home with me was, "If you're not spending time with Him in that back room, then everything you're doing for Him is just works, even if it seems like it's bringing Him glory. Ouch. It made me think a lot about the Woonsocket Youth Group endeavor. I want us to be able to do this with hearts that are prayed up, where we're supposed to be with God. When I think about it, I'm ashamed at how little time I spend in prayer. Even in my "up" times with God, I'm not with Him in that back room like I should be. And I want to be. I want to spend the time of prayer with Him that He desires from me, whether I want to or not. I like that thing that Pastor says a lot, about praying and worshiping and reading when you don't want to. It's not hypocrocy, it's pushing through. And God honors that.